Lack Confidence In Staying Sober

Lack Confidence In Staying Soberby HawkSome lack confidence in themselves, others lack the confidence that they can stay sober. I guess for me, I am of the latter group; I do believe in myself in a lot of ways, though I am not so confident in my ability to stay sober, which scares me. It's such hard work trying to stay sober: the meetings; the gym experiences; the remote experiences; the weekend experiences; the nutrition; the therapy; the church; the reading; the prayer; and after all of that I still can't find any safety from opiate. He still tugs on me everyday, and I'm coming to believe that it's never going to change, and I'm okay with it. I'm okay with having to work as hard as I do each day to stay clear, and for those of you that share this same struggle--you should be okay with it as well; at least we have the WAR lifestyle to participate in each day.Being an addict doesn't have to be all that bad of a deal, especially if we work hard each day 0n our recovery. We can find God in our recovery, and I know for me--were it not for addiction, I would've never found God, which makes me wonder if becoming an addict was a blessing. By me becoming an addict I have found out who I truly am, and what I'm supposed to do in this life, which is another blessing.I have had to become a searcher of another way to experience life so that I could shed the dark soul that I was carrying for so long. You, too, can shed the dark soul by living the WAR way of life. I wish I could say that it is an easy process, because it's not; it takes hard work, sweat, and lots of tears, but if there is any way at all to feel better, then it is through the WAR way of life.I just want you to know that I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be; and if I felt like I had to be perfect then I couldn't do this--so there I said it-- I am not perfect. I am one who struggles with the disease of addiction everyday just like many of you; and I use the WAR program to help me stay sober just as much as anybody. And yes, I am scared of not having what it takes to stay sober; and I do lack confidence--but I'm hopeful that if I keep trying, each day, then I will soon find my confident self when it comes to my addiction.