The Depressed Mind
The Depressed Mind
Nothing is exciting. Life is so dull and gray and time seems to be moving by so slowly; you just want time to go by faster so that something will change. You find yourself wanting something to change but nothing does change-nor does it really matter if anything changes because nothing is exciting anyways. You don't want to work; you don't want to talk to anybody; you don't want to text anybody; you just want to be left alone. Happiness seems to be so far away. You don't feel as if you're ever going to be happy again. In fact - your sure you're never going to be happy again. Opiate now makes himself known in your mind as does amphetamine. Lets be honest - if you had them you would most definitely take them. You've been trying to get into God but not even his light can break through your dark mind. You know Amphetamine and Opiate can help you temporarily but you also know that they will only make things worse on the back end.
You are dreading the rest of the Saturday night. You are dreading Sunday as well. Life is so boring. Is this all that life is? You don't know if you want to do this anymore. What's the point in staying clear if you can't be happy. At least if you are living the life of taking yourself out of reality you are finding some temporary happiness. Right now you feel no happiness; life sucks. All things suck. Work sucks. Money sucks. All responsibility sucks. You just want to lay around in a dark room with nothing to do for the rest of your life.
You just want to give back into the Amphetamine Opiate lifestyle. You want to fill the pills in your pocket once again. It would be so nice to know that if you had those pills in your pocket that you could throw a few in the back of your throat and be off and running within thirty minutes time to finding a new mood; and even a new personality. This low mood has just been too low lately. You've done everything you can to escape it but you just can't seem to escape it. It's time to now take something, drink something, smoke something, or even snort something. You don't care anymore. Life sucks. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing is going to work out because you can't make it work out. Your mood and addiction aren't going to allow you to become who you need to become so that things can work out. You just aren't consistent enough in your life performance. You do well for a time, and then you don't do so well for a time; and then the fight to getting back to being well after not being well takes so much time and effort that when you finally do start doing well its only a short time before you aren't doing well again; so most of your time gets spent with you trying to get back to being well. What an exhausting life this is with most of it being spent fighting the WAR with your addictive depressed mind in hopes of finding a happiness that seems to be nonexistent.
The Depressed Mind is yours… To Be Continued